Joy in the Journey

One of the series of classes that I went to during Education Week was on finding joy in the journey, now. It was taught by Randal Wright, a funny guy from Texas. I had never heard of him but he entertained me because he would say the funniest things or tell a funny story in the most sober and straightforward manner - it really cracked me up.

An interesting point he brought out was how we periodically need to be reminded of who we are. In the daily rush of life we sometimes forget that except on Sundays and then depending on our church responsibilities often not even then. I have been reminded of that a lot recently with the news reports about the mosque in New York and the crazy guy who wants to burn the Quran, and the other hate mongers spouting their various brands of hatred. I am even saddened by the number of LDS followers who claim to believe in the church and its leaders but spout hatred all the same towards those of other faiths. If we believe what the church leaders and the scriptures tell us we have no need to fear but we do need to live our beliefs and not spread our hatred and fear of those of other religions. We as LDS should be above that. But, the point is, I felt that being at Education Week was reminding me of who I am and should be. I resolved to try to be more diligent at following the principles that I profess to believe in. I, like many others, need to continue to strive to be better in action and not just in theory. I have been so remiss in doing those things I should to let the Savior know that I know who I am and that I value that knowledge. I have been trying since Ed. Week to do better and in some ways I have, although I have far to go and so far this past month I have been consciously enjoying the journey.

I have to admit though, that as I have thought about it, I find it easier to enjoy the present moments now that I don't have as many other things and people competing for my attention. My stress levels are down and being aware of the present is easier when there isn't so much competition for my attention. I love the scripture about there being a time for everything. This is my reflective time, I guess. I hope I am able to go to Ed. Week again next year.

Day One of Education Week

Wow - It has really been a long time since I have posted. I have been busy this summer though. I signed up to be a hostess for BYU Education Week this week. I used to go before I was teaching, and it is always the first week teachers have to be back in the classroom so it has been 18 years since I last went. The only bad thing, I think, is they expect you to dress, in their words, in business dress, then they say wear skirts or dresses. Puleeese! That hasn't been business dress since the seventies. But as a hostess I can go to any class free any day. So I am trying it - as trying as it is to wear skirts and dresses for 6 days in a row, counting church!

First day I was hostess all afternoon so I only went to the three classes I was hosting and they were fun. They were on organization, which I am pretty good on and already knew some of her ideas. However, when she said to get rid of half your stuff I knew she wasn't talking to me. At least not yet. The only reason I am going to get rid of most of my stuff is that it is cheaper that shipping it and replacing it when I move.

Some of her tidbits that I liked:

1.) The brain is for thinking; writing is for remembering. (I thought that was just my excuse to be lazy.)

2.) Disciplined patterns can help life run smoother. (I do this with only some things: I pay bills only on 1st and 25th of the month. When I had 4 little ones I spent 15 minutes cleaning per room each day- with a timer, no less! then moved on to better things.) She suggested starting a pattern even if it is only for a short session then lengthen the session once the patterns are set. Example: get up, pray, exercise, brush teeth, scripture reading, journal, clean up and dress.

3.) When people die and you have lots of their left overs, only keep what you will use - 10% max. Give the rest away. Take pictures before you give them away if they have a memory attached and journal or scrapbook about the meaning of the article. It takes less space and our thoughts are then included for others to know why we valued the item.

4.) We are only stewards over the things we have - we don't own them so we shouldn't clutter up our lives with excess things we don't use but only store. There are many other people who could use them and we shouldn't hoard.

Of course, she had scripture references to back her up (this is BYU Education Week) but I hadn't brought any thing to write on but her handout which SHE filled.

Last thought to add from this class that I forgot when I originally posted this:

There is a time in all our lives when we go from "Simultaneous" to "Sequential"

I found it so helpful to know that I am not the only one who can no longer do 5 or 6 things at the same time, and do them all well. Maybe I can do 2 but most often one at a time is the max if I want to do a good job.

Mission To Be Happy

Yesterday was a fun and happy day. I did everything I needed to do, things I wanted to do, and a little extra thrown in for good measure. I even had a "light bulb" moment. Wow! What a full day.

After getting ready for the day and taking my dad to breakfast I decided to spend the day going to the Quilter's Shop Hop. I knew I wouldn't go to all the stores since they go as far out as Tooele but I thought I could hit a few at least this first time going. I made it to 3 before I was spent out! It was so fun to see what the stores had and the displays of various quilts to ooh and aah over. The third and last quilt shop I went to was Mormon Handicraft. Nothing there I wanted but on the same floor of the store was the Repartee Gallery. Silly me decided to wander around and admire pretty pictures I could never afford. Found a beautiful one of angels for over $1000.00 and then . . . right next to it a lovely abstract Mother and Child. And I could afford it! SO I bought it!! Then went home and hung it up where I can look at it a lot!!! I love it!!!! (Too many exclamation points?) Anyway, after that I cut the grass, did a bit of weeding and watering and just felt good about my day. I had bought some quilting "stuff" but the highlight was the serendipitous discovery of the painting and my impulsive purchase.

So pleased with myself that I put in another 3 hours of yard work today after walking 3 miles and still felt the pleasure of yesterday when I came in and saw my picture on the wall. How easily I am pleased some days. LOL

I stole the title for this post from Michael McLean and his M2B:) book, blog, and CD. I am trying to consciously be in the present, enjoy it and be happy. I lean toward negativity and pessimism I think, so I was overflowing yesterday with Happy.

Don't we all need days like that now and again where there is just so much happy?

Graduation

On the national news today they were showing pictures of commencement speakers at various colleges across the U.S., talking with the graduates, and showing pictures of graduates and their friends and families congratulating each other. That brought me back to my graduations and that of my children who have graduated from high school and college. When I graduated from high school it was a three day event. I don't even remember why but I think we had a big senior dinner with parents one night in the high school cafeteria. It was a bit better than it sounds since we had only been in the high school six months and it was catered. The next night was convocation where we had boring speakers and a great choir presentation. The third night was graduation in the gym. The student speakers were heard here and then our names were read and we "walked." I remember my parents and my aunt and uncle where there and my aunt made me laugh on my way to my seat as we all walked into the gym. When my children graduated from high school we tried to make sure the whole family was in attendance also. Kurt even flew in from California for Alex's and maybe even Courtney's but I can't remember. He was still living here in town when Ryan graduated so it was no problem. Beth took her GED in California so there was no graduation to attend. All in all I think it was fun and successful for all.

Then came college. I don't think I really believed I was smart enough to graduate from college and if a dear friend hadn't almost forced me to take my senior seminar test I probably wouldn't have. Anyway, I didn't want to rent a cap and gown and do the procession but at that time you couldn't get your diploma at BYU unless you walked in the procession. That fact alone delayed my graduation by at least a year. Then I actually saw one on campus and it was rather moving so I felt okay with the whole process. Anyway, I rented my cap and gown and drove down to Provo from SLC, where I was working, for my graduation. All my friends had already graduated in the preceding years and were off working and my family didn't feel it was worth a trip to Utah so I went alone. I didn't think it would bother me until we were in the procession and I had no one to wave to or who was cheering my accomplishment. It was much worse after the ceremony. Everyone was being hugged and pictures were taken and I skulked away, got into my car and drove back to SLC. Alone. Therefore, when Ryan was graduating from college I wanted to attend. But he was allowed by the U of U to get his degree without walking through the ceremony. So I wasn't there to support him. So, the point of all this is that the graduations from college of my son and I were not as pictured on television and it still makes me a bit sad. And nostalgic for what might have been.

Getting Older

1. We are all growing older with each passing day. When young I knew many who were upset as they neared or achieved the "dreaded" decade birthdays starting with number thirty. Those birthdays never bothered me but I thought number fifty might. Nope! It didn't bother me either. Then I reached sixty and it took me three years to adjust. I have been trying to figure out why for the past seven years. I finally think I have found it. With sixty I decided I WAS old. My hair was white, my body was over weight and flabby, my energy was markedly down and my enthusiasm for life seemed limited. However, the last few months I have noticed that I am no longer upset with being old. I am accepting that I will never again be as I was and I appreciate that I am as healthy and active as I am. Many of my friends and former relatives are younger than I and are doing much poorer in the aging process. They have had parts repaired and replaced, are suffering the same physical declines, and are looking and feeling much worse than I. For all this I thank my genes and the few efforts I have been putting into creating a healthier environment for myself.

2. Another thing I noticed is that I try to live in the here and now. I had lunch with a friend from high school yesterday and as we talked all she seemed to want to talk about were her children and grandchildren. Now I have no trouble with that but other than health problems she had done nothing but work for the last thirty plus years and had no plans or goals for the future she could focus on. Her children were doing things and she was not, so the past and their lives were all we had to chat about. My dad goes to breakfast each morning and watches tv the rest of the day so all he has to talk about is the past. I understand that as he is 88 and has mobility issues, but not at 67. I seldom want to talk about the past and writing a personal history is totally out of the cards. Give me the present and plans and goals for the future to talk about. When I am in my 90s maybe I will have no future to look forward to but not at this stage in life.

3. Old age seems to be a leveling out time. We all get unattractive, physically limited in one way or another, and slow down mentally. We no longer compete with others in accomplishments. We do what we do and are happy for that. I feel like I can't go into debt because I won't be able to get a job to pay the debt so I am happy for what I already have rather than wanting more. I have never been one to "compete with the Joneses" but tried to have my kids be somewhat comparable to others in their social group. Now I don't even have to do that. I am responsible for only me. That feels kind of good. I am happier in general now than I have been for at least the last ten years. I don't look back much further than that.

Personal Strengths

I was watching a show on TV today and they have the theme this month of focusing on our strengths. It made me stop and think and I have been thinking all day. What strengths do I have? Do I have any? If asked to list our faults or weaknesses many of us could rattle any number of them off without a moment's thought - I know I surely can. But strengths? So I got out a paper and pen and thought and jotted. I think I need to make a poster to remind me of them, because I find I spend a lot of time thinking about my weaknesses rather than strengths and that makes me a negative person. I do not want to be a negative person. I have lived with negativity for the first nineteen years of my life. Now for the positive!

Strengths:

(in no particular order)

1. I am independent.

2. I have integrity

3. I have a love of learning

4. I am strong willed

5. I am determined

6. I am organized

7. I deal and cope well with life situations

I am still considering if I want to add specifics to this list of strengths. I think I will let it rest at this time while it percolates in my mind at least a few more days.

Not Again!

This morning my wonderful daughter-in-law, Jill, passed away from colon cancer. She leaves behind my son, Ryan, and their sweet 7 year old, Nathan. We are all devastated. She had fought a long, hard battle for four years with this disease. Ryan was told a few days ago she had only two or three weeks left but her poor body just couldn't take it anymore. Jill fought this cancer with everything she had and still kept her sense of humor about it. After sitting with her in January and watching what she went through with the chemo treatments, I was in awe of her strength. It does make me sad that she left us thinking that "this" earth life was all there was. I believe her father, her nana, and hopefully my mother were on the other side to welcome her with open arms. In January, I asked her to do me a favor after she died and visit Ryan in some form or another to assure him that she was on the other side of the veil waiting for him. If she discovers that if she was right it was obvious that she couldn't let me know. She was afraid if she visited Ryan and the house was a mess she would have to haunt him. We had a good laugh over that conversation.

She made my son and grandson so happy. Ryan and Jill just celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary in the hospital a few days ago. While sick these last few years she organized many things for Nathan to help with his memories as he gets older. She spent the last few weeks organizing her best friend's wedding. Her friend Jo and fiancee Carl, flew in from England to be with Jill and were married a week ago before Jill's last entrance on Monday into the hospital. She was a dear friend to so many and will be so missed by us all.