Silverthreads89: In the Beginning.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

In the Beginning.

So yes, I still have cancer. No miracle occurred to take it away. Although I must be honest that was never part of my prayers and it really didn't dawn on me until now that I hadn't prayed for that. I just prayed for the strength to get through each procedure as they came up. And then of course, I spent the night before each not sleeping - just a bundle of nerves. The procedures were never bad enough to lose the sleep but that is how my nerves work - if only I couldn't eat instead of not being able to sleep, the benefit would be so much better.

Today was my first chemo infusion. They told me it would be about 3 hours - it was 5. Thank goodness it wasn't all chemo infusion. After I had the blood draws (extra ones too because I am being good and taking part in a BYU study and research on cancer) through the port (I LOVE THAT THING!) this cute older lady sat next to me. She had the same cancer I did and the same drugs but this was her last infusion of Herceptin, so she had been at this the full year. She gave me so much info about what it was like for her and showed me her stubbly hair that was growing in slowly but surely. It made me feel better. After she left a guy sat there and he too was on his last treatment but for a different cancer so his drugs and reactions were different. People there at the center are so kind and sharing - both patients, nurses, and attendants. I asked a lot of questions of my nurse and he had the patience to answer them all. After he left I wrote all the answers down so when I wondered again I could look them up.

So here was today's program:

1. I put numbing cream on the port at home so it would be good and numb before they put the needle in. (The port is under the skin so Alex said I looked like an alien. It is in a triangle and has 3 bumps you can feel and they insert the needle into it and then everything is done on the IV line that is attached.) But you would feel the needle if you didn't use the numbing cream.

2. They weigh you, take your temp and BP each time you go into the office to monitor you and not take anything for granted.

3. Once I am in my "lounging" chair they draw blood to check that my blood cells are ok for chemo. Plus today they drew the extra ones for the BYU study. (Chalk one up for me being a good blood sharer since I can never donate blood again) They check those before starting any infusion to make sure my red and white cell count is good. There is something else they are checking for but that won't be back until tomorrow and they call me with that info. I don't remember what that was for - my note taking missed that one. They were sure today I would be good since it was my first time, but you never know down the road so they will check again in 2 weeks and again at my next chemo appointment.

4. Then they flush the port out to prepare to start infusions.

5. They first infusion today was Dexamethasone. I also took it in pill form yesterday, today and tomorrow. That was for an hour and is for nausea. Plus I have extra nausea pills to use as needed (2 prescriptions- Think they think I might get nausea?)

6. Next is the infusion of Herceptin for an hour. That is because I have the HER2 receptor and I have to get this every 3 weeks for a year.

7. Then they hit the big guns: Taxotere and Carboplatin. Those are separate infusions but total about 1 1/2 hours one right after the other.

8. They flush the port again and I am off for home.

The nurse, Doug, said I have a few hours before the nausea will hit this first time, but that each time will be different as the drugs all build up in my body. That is why I am doing the post before I spend my time with my head in a bucket. Bonnie was cute, she said it was a hard way to diet but she lost 40 pounds. I could only wish - I will probable gain!

Tomorrow I have to go back and get a shot of something I didn't write down today but will tomorrow, that helps build the white cells up to prepare my for my next session in 3 weeks. Bonnie gently told me she thinks that shot is $8000.00 per time. I hope she is wrong and that my insurance is good!

Alex and Beth are so good about helping me when I need it. Alex went to work late to take me to the hospital today but Beth picked me up and is taking me again tomorrow. I can no longer lift heavy objects (like bags of dirt and ground cover) because the port can move and then I have bigger problems so they are helping me get that spread around so I can plant when I have the energy. I am so determined to eck out 30 to 60 minutes a day after the nausea goes away. But we'll see - I am pretty lazy when I have a good excuse or can make up a good excuse or can get away with a poor excuse. My friend, Susan, is taking over cleaning the church this coming week, so cancer is my excuse for that. Beth is bringing over chicken soup for dad and I tomorrow or the next day - depending on how sick I get.

All in all, considering what this is and that it still seems surreal. It was a good 2 days. Boy that even seems surreal to say that. But then I am not nauseous or tired yet. Then the reality will hit I bet.

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The Help, by Kathryn Stockett. Reread this book after seeing the movie, now want to rewatch the movie. About how many white women in Mississippi during the sixties treated their black help. Wonderful book similar to the impact of To Kill a Mockingbird. 5 of 5 stars.

The Swan Thieves, by Elizabeth Kostova. Psychiatrist tries to help a painter who is arrested trying to attack a painting. The story intermingles the story of the modern painter, psychiatrist, and the artist of the painting from the 1800s. A mystery and a love story intriguingly told. 4 of 5 stars.

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Freedom, by Jonathan Franzen. Second novel by this highly acclaimed author. However, I am not intellectual enough to appreciate his writing. I wasn't fond of his first and not of this one. I thought the characters were annoying, although true to life. I don't want to know this much about unhappy people. It follows the long unhappy (?) marriage of a couple into their 50s. The husband is helplessly in love with his wife most of the time, but she is never sure of her feelings until into her 50s. They were tiresome people but that may be because they are so realistic. I'm not pedantic enough for his writing. 3 out of 5 stars.

Rescue, by Anita Shreve. I think this is the 9th or 10th book of hers that I have read. Great story teller, although not a "great" author. I like her take on what could be an ordinary story but she looks at it in an interesting way. This one is about an EMT who helps to rescue a drunk driver in an accident and how they come together. Not my favorite of her books but interesting. 31/2 of 5 stars.

Laughed 'til He Died, by Carolyn Hart. This is one of the series called Death on Demand. Death on Demand is the name of a bookstore in a vacation community on a South Carolina island. It's owners are wealthy and attractive and everyone likes them and they solve murders. The writing is mediocre as is the plot and the solving of the murders. Characters are explained more than shown. I won't be reading more of this series. 3 0f 5 stars.

Indemnity Only, by Sara Paretsky. This first of the V. I. Warshawski novel reissued this year. I can see why this series is popular. I liked this complicated case of murder and it was not easily figured out "who done it" and why. I will read more of this series, but I can also see how this could be improved as Sara as an author honed her craft. 4 of 5 stars.

Birds of a Feather, by Jacqueline Winspear. Reread this book that I read last year. Don't know where I got it last year but it was the abridged book and this was not. This one did not have all the errors in it and had more info, therefore, much more enjoyable to read and a good follow up to the first book which had so much background info in it. 4 of 5 stars.

1776, by David McCullough. This was a read for Independence Day 2011. I have been meaning to read it for 3 years and finally got around to it. Every adult should read it to know what a difficult time it was for the colonies to first declare independence (on July 2, 1776) and then to achieve it. It also took a long time until we were granted independence and the war with England ended. Then perhaps we would be more understanding about those countries we help win their independence. We did not fight alone; we too, had help from other countries helping us fight England. McCullough writes for the average reader to understand and not just history buffs. It is easy to read and understand. 5 of 5 stars.

The Double Comfort Safari Club, by Alexander McCall Smith. The 11th book in my favorite series. Mma Ramotswe solves the problems that are presented to her in a gentle, humane way. She remembers the things she has learned. "Do not complain about your life. Do not blame others for things that you have brought upon yourself. Be content with who you are and where you are, and do whatever you can do to bring others such contentment, and joy, and understanding that you have managed to find yourself." 5 of 5 stars

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, by Betty Smith. A great classic that I had never read completely. Not the typical novel as it doesn't have a plot but a great coming of age story. I had thought it was a teen read but it is definitely written for the adult reader. It was originally written as a memoir but changed to a novel. The men are not in general portrayed at strong but the women are so interesting. I loved Francie's mother, Katie, she was a great role model. The friendship and support between brother and sister was amazing. Francie and her family grow from extreme poverty to a very comfortable living situation but her observations of people and places is spot on. 5 of 5 stars

Maisie Dobbs, by Jacqueline Winspear. 1st book in the series. Takes place in England just after WWI, but written about 9 years ago. Very good mystery and background story to set up the series. Maisie is a determined independent young woman who has been mentored by caring people to be able to step out of her class enough to be independent. Women were like possessions and she had few opportunities in that time in England, but with her intelligence and mentors she overcomes many obstacles. 4 0f 5 stars

Strong Poison, by Dorothy L. Sayers. British mystery written in the 30s. Interesting, amusing but dated mystery writing. I found it interesting that the main female was okay with living with a man but wanted nothing to do with marriage - and this in the 30s not 90s. 3 of 5 stars

I Still Dream About You, Fannie Flagg. A delightful novel about "older" ladies, one in particular. Maggie is not happy with the way her life as gone since becoming an adult and comes up with a plan to solve her unhappiness but something keeps interferring with her perfect plan. "[The novel] is equal parts southern charm, murder mystery, and that perfect combination of comedy and old-fashioned wisdom...." 4 of 5 stars

Leaving Home, by Jodi Picoult. Short stories by an excellent story teller. 5 of 5 stars

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest, by Stieg Larsson. Very good conclusion to the series. Lisbeth fights for her life on multiple levels and her "friends" fight for her to prove her innocence and expose corruption in the government of Sweden. 4 of 5 stars

Saving CeeCee Honeycutt, by Beth Hoffman. Totally charming and moving story of a young girl who is moved from a sadly deplorable life into the southern comfort of her great aunt's home, and how this changes not only her life but who she thinks she is. Great first novel by Hoffman. 5 of 5 stars

The Christmas Gift, by R. William Bennett. A quick entertaining Christmas story that is sentimental but not excessively sugary. It is a lesson we could all do with a reminder to remember more often that things are not always what they seem. 3 of 5 stars.

The Hunger Games Trilogy, by Suzanne Collins. Three good books that you must read together to get to the end. I really enjoyed reading them but didn't think the girl was really 17-18. She just didn't think or behave like one so I had to give her the benefit of the doubt that her society would make her more mature. She seemed more like a woman in her mid twenties to me, as did the men who loved her. But a fun read and good discussion books. I would not recommend to any of my junior high kids, just high school. 4 of 5 stars

Follow the River, by James Alexander Thom. This was a reread for my book club. The novel is based on a real woman and her escape from an Indian tribe who captured her and her two children, after killing her mother and others in their small settlement. She walks over 800 miles in early winter with only a blanket and another old woman who escaped with her. It is really an amazing story and highly recommended reading. 5 of 5 stars.

Major Pettigrew's Last Stand, by Helen Simonson. Delightful romance about an English widower in his late 60s and a Pakistani widow woman in her late 50s. The English sense of humor took a while for me to understand but when I did I had to go back and reread some to see what I had missed. A charming and happy read. 4 of 5 stars.

A Walk in the Woods, by Bill Bryson. Bill and a friend of his decide to walk most of the 2200 miles of the Appalachian Trail. Along the way he gives the reader an amusing look at the trials they endure and an interesting look at the history, as well as editorial comments on the history and events of his journey. He is a funny writer of the things he observes and writes about. 4 of 5 stars.

The Silence of God, by Gale Sears. An historical novel about the first LDS family in Russia. It takes place during the Russian Civil War when the soviets were taking over and not letting people use churches. Gale is a neighbor and has written other books but this is my favorite. It has enough notes so that I understood the politics of what was going on in Russia during this time. 4 of 5 stars.

Smart Women, by Judy Blume. Yes, that Judy Blume - but this is for adult women not young girls. Interesting story but she is definitely a youth writer. The writing is not very sophisticated (? I think that is the word I want to use.) but the story does ring true for many of the situations. I read it many years ago and just reread it - I will now give it away. 2 0f 5 stars.

Fly Away Home, by Jennifer Weiner. Senator's wife takes off for her childhood vacation home when she finds her husband has cheated on her. While there she evaluates her life, her husband's and daughters'. The three women go through major trials and meet at the oceanside home to reassess their lives. Nothing profound but Weiner is a good story teller though I missed the humor from her other books I have read. 3 of 5 stars.

becoming Kate, by Dixie Owens. Very clever plot idea. A young girl is given a brain transplant from a young mother who died in a car accident. Stirs some very interesting questions. I think the story moved a bit too fast and there were many other problems that could have been hashed out but on the whole it was a great quick read. 3 1/2 stars of 5

Last Night in Twisted River, by John Irving. Covers life of young man 12 years old into his 60s and how he deals with major events and losses during that 5 decade span to the present time. We don't have always have a choice on who comes into and out of our life; we only have a choice on how we deal with them in a positive or negative way to the benefit or detriment of our life and memories. 4 of 5 stars.

A Nun in the Closet, by Dorothy Gilman. I read this for our book club selection. A short, quick mystery read. It is rather dated in many references but that adds a bit of charm. 3 of 5 stars.

The Girl Who Played with Fire, by Stieg Larsson. This is the 2nd of a trilogy. (see below) A good mystery but the author tells too much back story for each and every one of his characters. He could have easily knocked off 150 pages of this book. Liked the story but he goes into way too much detail. 4 of 5 stars

To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. This is the 50th year since publication and having read it in the 60s decided it was a great time to reread. It is more impressive now to read than it was when I was a teenager from the far north. It seems more real now, especially with the way people are acting over the illegal immigrant problem. So many of us do not learn from the past or even from the religion we profess to believe in. Maybe this should be required reading for adults rather than teens. This is in the top 5 of books I have read. 5 of 5 stars.

Birds of a Feather, Jacqueline Winspear. A mystery in 1929 London written in 2004 (?). The second in a series of Maisie Dobbs mysteries. Good story but the proof reading was annoying, more errors than I have found in any other books. 4 of 5 stars

Remembering Isaac, by Ben Behunin. An interesting Christian novel. A potter is hired to take over from an old potter who has died with interesting conditions attached. He learns some stories and "lessons" from those in the town who stop by to share a cup of tea and their story. 4 of 5 stars

The Constant Gardener, by John Le Carre. Le Carre is the intellectual mystery writer. The plot is complicated and the words are sophisticated and the story is heart breaking. Not a quick summer read but an excellent mystery. I would say he is the mystery writers' mystery writer. Now I am off to rent the movie, also. 5 of 5 stars

A Lantern in Her Hand, by Bess Streeter Aldrich. Reread this book for the third time. One of the best written examples of what it is like to grow older. Each young person has hopes and dreams for the future that often do not come to fruition because of various circumstances. The next generation does not understand their parents and their choices because they don't seem to know the right questions to ask but family and love holds us all together. 5 of 5 stars

The Book of Awesome, by Neil Pasricha. Have been reading a few pages a day since receiving this for Mother's Day. Just delightful! Even went so far as to mark the pages I totally agreed with, LOL. Then I went to his blog so I could even read more now that I am done with the book. Helps make a positive outlook.
4 of 5

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson. It took me 100 pages to realllly get into this and then I couldn't put it down and stayed up until 4 in the morning trying to finish. Almost 600 pages but a real page turner with 2 mysteries (maybe 3) going on. Excited to get to the next in the series of 3.
4 of 5 stars

The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, A Memoir, Laugh out loud funny remembrance of growing up in Iowa in the 50s. It did bring back the memories of growing up in Minnesota also during that time. Have read this twice (I really needed a good laugh) in the last few years and will go get another book of his soon.
5 of 5 stars

Look Again, by Lisa Scottoline. Good very quick read about an mother who adopts her son and then a few years later learns he had been kidnapped as a baby. I would have preferred a different ending but since Scottoline is a mystery writer the ending fit with her genre.
4 of 5 stars

The Shack, by Wm. Paul Young. Not impressed. Nothing new or novel in the book I didn't already think about. I don't get what all the hoopla was about that I was hearing on this book unless it is from people to whom belief in God is new.
3 of 5 stars

The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell. Fascinating book on the psycho/sociological reasons on what starts epidemics of ideas, fashion, products, crime, etc. Written so very easy to read and understand. Great follow up to his book Blink which was also great.
5 of 5 stars

Can't Wait to get to Heaven, by Fannie Flagg. Fun book about an old lady who dies and comes back to life for another year before dying again. The lives she has influenced and the far reaching effects of her kind deeds are gradually revealed. I even made the "heavenly" cake recipe that was included. Have now read this twice in the last couple of years and even baked her cake for my book group.
5 of 5 stars.

Good Hope Road, by Lisa Wingate. Great read about a young woman and an old woman brought together by a tragedy and how they both change and grow to become better people and help those around them. Positive, inspiring story without being sappy. 4 of 5 stars.

Tea Time for the Traditionally Built, by Alexander McCall Smith. Love this series and this book is no exception. Precious is aptly named as a character - I love her! 5 of 5 for adults.

Little Bee, by Chris Cleave is quick read but sad read about how countries and individuals treat immigrants without concern about the individual situations involved with their immigration. It made me sad. 4 of 5 stars.

Goose Girl by Shannon Hale is great for the 8-18 but not for me. I totally would have recommended this when I was teaching to the young girls but I can't believe the reading group of over 40 women wanted to read this. I felt it was a waste of time so I listened to it on CD while quilting. 3 of 5 for adult women and 5 of 5 for teens.

Silverthreads89

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

In the Beginning.

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